Look Years Younger Than Your Friends

What do you wear when you’re “of a certain age” and your peers criticize you because you don’t dress like them? Should you bow to the pressure and conform…or dress in what’s best for YOU?

That’s the question that came up on the fashion blog recently (look at comments), when one of our seventy-something readers posted this (edited for space):

I am a 72 year old woman who looks about 20 years younger according to everyone. I am very blessed that way! However, I am in major confusion about what I should wear. I am larger at the top than at the bottom. My problem is my waist doesn’t go in a lot and I have a “spare tire.” I am very active in church and I have all kinds of critics regardless of what I wear. I never dreamed I would run into this in my senior years. I seem to get an awful lot of criticism.

Three women got together and they had on lovely new floral dresses. They looked great in them. They told me this is how “I should dress.” Those dresses would not look so lovely on me. Anyway, they told me that I dress so I look 20 pounds heavier than I am. I have worn a lot of “jackets” through the years. They are loose hanging jackets – not fitted around the waist. I am given such a hard time regarding my appearance that I wonder whether they are sincerely trying to help me.  I haven’t said anything back to them but I am tempted to explain to them that “plumpish” women look younger because the lines in one’s face are filled out. They have small bones and I do not! Mine is medium to large bones! I am not sure which. Thank you so much. Betty

Let’s start with the basics: everyone’s different. What looks good on one shape and size may not work on another.

So if these ladies want to dress in florals to do God’s work (with a deviled tongue), let them. But as they’re going to learn once you start getting compliments, how they dress is not how you should dress.

Let’s get started:

If you wear one size on top, a smaller size on the bottom, and you carry extra weight in your tummy and back, you’re a V-shape. Dresses don’t work well without altering because you’re two different sizes. Separates are better.

Here are some suggestions for dressing the V-shape:

• Make sure you’re wearing the correct size bra (get fitted if necessary)
• Opt for dark colors on top, lighter colors on bottom for visual balance
• Surplice (wrap) style tops will minimize and slenderize your torso
• Blouson tops that drape over the tummy are flattering
• Wear jackets or shirt-jackets that create a center vertical line and skim over your abdomen
• Draw attention away from your waistline with an interesting necklace up top or with fabulous shoes down below
• Wear medium-sized prints sparingly, like in a scarf, vest, or handbag

In short, use your clothing and accessories to accentuate your assets and downplay your trouble spots.

Now let’s talk about these outdated theories of what women of different ages “should” wear, like:

• Women over 40 should have short hair
• Women over 40 should not wear a bikini
• Women over 60 should not wear high heels
• More makeup will hide wrinkles
• Don’t wear clothes that show your figure

These “rules” used to be set in stone. I remember my mother giving me a whole list of things I should or shouldn’t do once I hit 40. No wonder it used to be such a traumatic age! But things have changed SO much over the last two decades with diet, exercise, and beauty treatments that what used to be doesn’t always apply any more.

If you want to look years younger than your friends and continue to look and feel vibrant, take a page from Christopher Hopkins’ excellent Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45 book, including:

Update your hair and makeup Maintain your eyebrows Wear current styles that fit and flatter Use shapers and foundation garments Try monochrome with dramatic accents Don’t be a prisoner to your mother’s clothing beliefs

Before

After

All these before and after photos from Staging Your Comeback prove that you can look good at any age. So don’t try to dress like your peers because they think you should. Dress in ways that are right for YOU, become the style trail blazer of your crowd, and look years younger than your friends.

That’s what one of my octogenarian readers did, and she sent me this updated email last week:

Remember me?  I kept your first e-mail to me response from my question, “Fashion for older women.” It was March 18 2005. My picture is in one of your ads. I am 81 now, and I still have compliments regularly. Last week I went to a clinic for a bone scan, and I had four compliments there of my looks. One clerk checked on my birth date again. She was surprised, and she said “You are beautiful!” The last time I went to Neiman Marcus store a clerk looked me over, followed me and made suggestions for clothes to buy. I remember one time years ago they looked me over and ignored me. They thought I couldn’t afford the store. THANK YOU again for all the compliments and high esteem that I have now! Ruth Ganley, Atlanta, GA

You’re welcome, Ruth.

If you’d like to look years younger, download a copy of Ageless Style to see how easy turning heads at any age can be!

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