The Secret Language of Shoes

March 29, 2007 by Diana · 1 Comment

No long ago, I was invited to be a judge in a local preliminary pageant for the Miss America Organization. Having participated in pageants myself years ago, I thought it might be fun to see how things had changed over the years. It was both interesting and educational being on the other side of the table.

After spending most of the day with the other judges, during which time we were not allowed to discuss the contestants, I found the comments that came after the pageant very telling. While there were the usual remarks about clothing, costumes, and talent, there was also a reoccurring theme in the judges’ room:

“Loved the dress, hated the shoes.”

“What was she thinking with those shoes?”

“She’d never do well at State in shoes like that.”

And no, they weren’t talking about the same girl.

I don’t know if it was because we were eye-level to the girls’ feet while they were on stage or what, but all of us seemed to have something to say about shoes. Interestingly, most of the girls who scored the highest stuck with one pair of shoes throughout the competition: a flesh-colored pair of pumps that elongated their legs during the swimsuit competition and disappeared during the interview, talent, and evening gown competitions.

Stuart Weitzman
Zappos

Am I saying these girls placed well just because of their shoes? No – the top performers were all well-rounded. But unlike some of the others, their choice of shoe didn’t hurt them in the competition.

So what does this have to do with you?

Take a look at the shoes you have on right now.

Are they clean? Shined? Well-soled? Appropriate to where you are and the clothes you have on?

If not, you could be hurting your chances of getting a promotion, enjoying better service, or even attracting the ideal mate. All because of your shoes.

I know, it sounds crazy.

But since your shoes are one of the things that immediately convey your socio-economic status, not taking the time to care for them or wear them appropriately reveals more about you than you realize. It took the pageant to remind me of just how critical people can be in this regard, especially of those who dare to step into the spotlight or into leadership positions.

To be taken seriously, you need to know the rules for dressing appropriately.

Get it right and people will start to dig deeper to learn more about you. Get it wrong and you may be dismissed outright.

Fair?

Of course not!

But it all boils down to our survival instinct. We like to know at a glance whether we’re facing friend or foe. We tend to gravitate towards people who are dressed the same way we are; we tend to exercise caution with people who are dressed very differently from us, until we learn more about them. It’s a strategy that has worked well for thousands of years.

Once we’ve ascertained the friend/foe status, we tend to zero in on the details to glean more information. Hair, makeup, clothes, and accessories all provide clues to a person’s background, education level, and probably income, as this quote from the movie “Silence of the Lambs” (1991) so accurately reveals:

“You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?” — Hannibal Lecter

So again, what do your shoes say about you?

Here are some things to consider about women’s shoes:

Closed-toe shoes are formal and offer coverage and protection. They’re most often worn for work and athletic endeavors where covering and protecting the toes are important, like at offices (coverage), construction sites, and basketball games (protection).

Open-toe shoes are more casual and convey a sense of flirtatiousness and fun. They’re worn in situations when covering and protecting the toes are not of paramount concern, like for evening socials (strappy sandals) or strolls along the beach.

Heels say formal and fashionable. Modest heels (3 inches or less) work well in many traditional work situations; heels under 4 inches convey a willingness to follow fashion. Excessively high heels (more than 5 inches) have negative sex.ual connotations.

Flats say casual and practical. Shoes with no heels are the preferred choice for informal situations like running errands or walking long distances. People will back or foot problems prefer flats to heels for obvious reasons.

Leather shoes are formal. They can endure a lot of wear and tear and with proper care, can last for years. Business shoes and many athletic shoes are made from leather because it’s durable.

Fabric shoes can be casual or semi-formal. They “breathe” better than leather shoes, but they can be hard to clean and tend to wear out quickly. Since fabric is easy to dye, you’ll find a lot of closed-toe fabric shoes dyed-to-match for weddings and other social occasions.

Rubber shoes are typically seasonal. Rubber boots are worn in the rainy season, for example, while flip flops are practical for casual, warm weather activities.

As you read over this list, you may notice that a lot of people wear shoes at times and places that are inappropriate for the style of the shoe, like flip flops in cold weather or tennis shoes to the ballet.

These may seem like minor infractions in the grand scheme of things, but remember, your choice of shoe conveys a lot about you. Wearing shoes inappropriate to a place or time suggests that you don’t know better – or that you can’t afford proper shoes. Poor and uneducated? Not exactly the message most people want to send, particularly those who aspire to great things.

So try a little experiment over the next few days:

Look at people’s shoes.

Just glance at them as you go about your day, taking in styles, condition, and appropriateness. What do they reveal about the wearer? That she’s pulled together – or sloppy and not into details? That he knows how to dress – or has no clue? I think you’ll be surprised by what you discover, particularly with people you know.

Then, take extra care with your own shoes. If they need to be re-soled or polished, take care of it. If they’re dirty or worn out, clean or replace them. If they’re inappropriate for certain situations, consider buying a pair or two that will help you meet your wardrobe needs.

Because if people are going to make judgments about you based on your shoes – and they are – it only makes sense to be well-heeled.

Need some more information on how to find the best shoes for you? Download a copy of ACCESSORY MAGIC to see how easy accessorizing properly can be.