“You want a quality man?” Patti Stanger asked a group of New York women on a recent episode of Bravo TV’s Millionaire Matchmaker. They all nodded enthusiastically. “Then stop dressing like hookers!”
Their jaws dropped. So did mine. I’d been flipping through channels, looking for something to watch, but after hearing that in-your-face remark, I hit “select” on the remote and was glued for the rest of the episode.
“A hooker!” one woman cried indignantly. “But I’m dressed up!”
“Dressed up?” Patti repeated, looking at the girl’s black spaghetti-strap tank top, orange sherbet colored skirt, and black sandals with horror. “Dressed up for what? To show him how wide your hips are?”
Their jaws went slack again, as did mine. As the trio stumbled from the room Patti yelled, “Where are my hot girls? They should be lined up around the block! Why am I only getting dogs?”
If you’re not familiar with the show, Patti’s a 3rd generation matchmaker (who knew they still existed?!) who operates a matchmaking club for millionaires in Los Angeles — and as you can tell, she doesn’t pull punches. She can read people easily and will tell anyone from maid to mogul what they’re doing wrong when it comes to dating. She finds matches at the behest of her millionaire clients.
The whole concept seemed silly to me the first time I watched, but it’s easy to get sucked in and see why so many people have trouble dating. But then it’s always black and white when you’re not the one involved, right?
Anyway, what I found interesting about Patti’s trip to New York is that she was beyond frustrated at the candidate pool. New Yorkers have apparently been calling her L.A. office for years, begging her to come to Manhattan, but once she got there, she was shocked at just how badly most women dress.
“There are 5 eligible women to every eligible man in New York,” she told one of her assistants in the episode. “They’re better educated and have fewer implants than the girls in California, but it’s like they don’t care how they look. I see all these women walking around who would be snapped up in an instant if they just put a little effort into how they dress, but they don’t and I don’t get it. Maybe I should do a ‘How to Dress’ workshop so these women will get a clue,” she said.
I found the remark telling, because I’ve seen it myself hundreds of times.
Sloppy clothes, revealing tops, silly accessories — you name it. Either they’re complete wallflowers or stand out for all the wrong reasons.
Listen, ladies. You want a “Knight in Shining Armor” to come knock on your door? Then dress as a fair maiden instead of a “booty call” using the ABC’s of dress:
A = Appropriate. Your clothing should always be appropriate to the time and place. Formal, semi-formal, casual, etc. — learn what type of apparel is appropriate for each situation and wear it.
B = Boundaries. Use your clothes to establish limits and set boundaries on your person. If you don’t like guys talking to your cleavage, don’t wear a low-cut top. If you don’t want your blind date touching your thigh, don’t wear a thigh-high skirt. Use your clothes to set limits.
C= Coverage. Modesty counts. You don’t have to dress like a nun, but you don’t want to give complete strangers a glimpse of what only your “one and only” should see. Besides, what you cover up can be just as intriguing as what you reveal.
See the difference in how covering up just a little takes the focus off the body and puts back on the woman? Yes, you want guys to notice your figure. But that’s not the only thing you want them to see – or want.
Remember: a first date is like a job interview and you want to make a good impression. Don’t blow it be dressing inappropriately. Think about the kind of guy you’d like to date, then dress to attract him. Not only will he appreciate the effort, he’ll probably ask you out again!
Need some other tips for building a wardrobe that will attract quality men? Then download a copy of Clothes That Get the Guy and get “Mr. Right” to come to you.